Mind Fuck

The day you told me how
Unattractive I was
I already knew
Did you see how my left hand was
Barren
Where do you think my rings
Went
I always take care of myself
I never once asked you for anything
Except understanding
You idiot
Telling people how crazy I am
I'm not
I just wasn't ready for
A commitment
That you threw me into
So I acted like a caged bird
Utterly psychotic
 until you set me
Free

" you just don't do it for me"

My soul is so burned out
I feel
No pleasure no pain
Numb to everything
I always remember
The drunken nights
And promises
 I see you
Bc we're so much alike

December 13, 2010

I went back last night
Looking for you
 I close my eyes
 And I'm 18
You're in my passenger seat
 Unbuckled as always
 you said
If we died
We'd go down in flames
Together
You're my kinda crazy baby
You'd say again and again  
That was our thing
Bonnie and Clyde
A fight till the end
Years later
 I miss the screaming
Fights
I'd grab my keys
Throw my phone at
Your head
And leave
But I'd always come back
 that night on the dock                          
You proposed
It was too late
You set my things on fire
With a bottle of crown
The night you found
Out I was with him
Punched through a wall
You never acted rationally
Just on impulse
You're with your bleach blonde
Now
 that I could never be
Working for your daddy
But that's not the life I wanted
To live
So now I blow down the road
 looking
For you
In other people
To feel that same
Madness all over again
But I can't find it
Because at the end
Of the day I can't feel
Anything
But fake emotion

Respect

I'm the girl he'd call at 5 am
Running to him
he had me hooked
Like a drug
I can't tell you why
And I can't tell you how
It's been 2 days since I've heard
His voice
And the last image
Of me he
Has is
head held high
Walking away
In my robe
And I'll be damned
If I'm the one to call

To my last project

We lay together
As one
Back and forth
Those eyes
Piercing into mine
As I say aloud
You can't have
my barbwire
heart
But my body is yours

You can't bullshit a bullshitter

60 in a 35
Became my life
Emotion is hard for me
But I take care of my own
And I ask for nothing
I'm great in bed
But bad at life

Urban life decay

It's 2 am
Again
Another slow burning cigarette
Another unanswered call
5 steps forward
10 steps back
I'm getting old love
So tell me what you want
Cause I don't know how
Many 2 ams
I have left
To ponder your mystery

Insomnia is my calling card

Sunrise
The world awakes
 a steaming cup of coffee
You made it through
Another night
Remember that

The awakening

With a simple conversation
Realization set in
You're not a princess
Waiting to be saved
Trapped in a tower
The tower is in your head
And it's time
To live again

Dead men tell no tales

3 generations of women
Round a kitchen table
All resentful of the other
The youngest looks at her mother
A dead woman stares
back at her
Forgetting she
Threw her hands up in the air
And told her never to come back
The dead woman looks
At her mother for help
To trap
The youngest into this life
They live
A man going slowly insane
Stares at all of this
Wishing he could bring back
The man
Who held them together
 but they always say
The good die young

From sweet to Mr.big.......these are a few of my favorite things

Whenever I see a guy
Struggling with his love
I always ask if her shoes
Are still there
Chances are if she left
Them
She's coming back
As for me
Always ask if I leave behind
A book
Cause that's where
My heart lies
Written in pages
And underlined words