Now isn't an option even in between mixed tapes and plastic flowers

A look
across the room
daggers as eyes
His voice like nails on the chalkboard
do you remember...
looking at me like I was crazy
cause you got me lost on 75
that was a perfect day
all the looks wrapped into one
I ache to hear your voice
to see your eyes
Say it
and mean it
I can't go a day without complaining
So "please forgive me"
while the lightning goes through my veins
you make me feel safe
remember that time
i gave you that look
and your,"what"? said everything
I should've listened to it all
I guess "mixes"
do reveal the heart
too little too late
sorry kid

Sweet Nothings & Little Black Lies

I___you
fill in the blank
those key phrases
overused and common
you know you don't  mean it
why would you
some people just can't love as much as others
that spells trouble for the little girl
you're were with tonight
she was your Novocaine for the night
Still I think you'd rather
cradle the bottle beside your bed
than her
at least it doesn't ask for anything
I used to think "how's it going to be"
when he changes
but that doesn't fit the phrase
there's a kid
I'd give anything
to "dance when the stars go blue"
but I can't
he will be at home wishing
two things
to be smoking a cigarette and to be anywhere but here
I'll be up in the sky
wishing I was anywhere but there
What I wouldn't give
to be dancing by a record player
in some dive downtown
in my dress
with him
 instead I smile pretty
and try not to think of caskets
when I smell the roses on my wrist
 instead I picture myself
laying in the fields after midnight
just remembering
because sometimes it's all you can do
what am I remembering?
comfortably numb
my antidote to life
no worries my pictures won't be ruined
if only they could see behind my eyes
They'd see
all the key phrases left unsaid

"something is messed up here
something isn't right
we're supposed to be free
I'm supposed to be mine"-Sleater-Kinney

Life is not a movie, song, or Sex and the City life contains boo- boos and bad hair cuts

I wanna drive till I hit the ocean side

wind in hair

but instead I turn and I do the right thing

Song lyrics pour into my head

I'm wishing life was a movie

instead I'm sent on errands

I trip and bruise my knee

such is life

I wanna be there

but when I get there

here is where I crave

so i turn around

counted on

and ask
"Why did we ever meet"
 i like hands
because fingerprints
are always left behind unseen 

Outbursts started with a China Cabinet

"I could have lied I'm such a fool
My eyes could never never never
Keep their cool"

I keep asking for you
but you can't pick up the phone
frantically I want to scream
 come rescue me
now now now
make him leave me alone
I'm afraid the past repeats itself
with your name on its lips
I love how i get what you're saying
when you skirt around what you mean
and tell me that you skate now
stop labeling yourself
its not who you are
you are stronger than you think you are
but maybe you're really not
kid you cut your hair you cleaned up your veins
I wonder if you will let me inside now
or if you'll decide you can save yourself
All I wanted was for someone to tell me it was ok
and i realized that maybe it was time for me to do that for you
you're my unknown number memorized
who never lies
even when you could have

I bring out the worst in everyone

We lay our hands on the future
and pray as the world becomes a resume
The journey to the middle couldn't
 Have come at a better time

If dreams show the mind
then I want to be rescued from him
Driving I hear your voice
And he dissapears
I need you like chaos

Feeling like penny lane
Different personas for every man
Making me either a common whore
Or a good buisness woman

Now I'm working off the mood
The ring of fire surrounds me

As eyes close and souls die
Come on and try to break my spirit
I'll cut my losses and figure out why

My blades a little rusty
but uh my mouths just as sharp
And give me a little time
 I will show you how to go down the street

But be careful not to make a mess
It's a bitch to clean up
 but as easy as you to do

Did I tell you to speak
Now you're under my thumb
Take that Mick Jagger

Pretty in Black

"No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need"

Stitches on the wrist
Hope is dead
as the preacher
in his rich voice
preaches to the congregation
not knowing why
she cries as she plays the Rolling Stones on the organ
this is the reason I planned out my own funeral
so long ago
LBD's mandatory
I think I have a mixed cd around here to be played
It will be right at sunrise
coffee available strong like I make it
maybe screen my favorite movie before
bury me underneath the spanish moss
inscribe something on my tomb
but make it memorable
I wonder when I will be at my  best
If I sell out?
if my spirit breaks
Then you know I'm dead
People who say they have no regrets
are lying
I've learned more from regretting
than happy memories
I hope that I'm not the cause of anyone's regrets
except old lovers and possibly classmates
They can die with what if's but I sure as hell don't want to
and a final note Never let death control you
because it in itself has no control


PS:the movie that inspired me is The Big Chill

Catch My Fall

 "I wonder why it always feels like rain
My life is like some cheap champagne
The answers don't always seem to fit
My glass is full, but it tastes like shit"-Katy rose


My need for understandment
overrides my need to be accepted
I am a hypocrite
I do not understand others
but I expect them to understand me
it is completely irrational and unreasonable
thing to expect
my great expectations exceed yours
yet in your eyes I have failed you as a whole
getting it just isn't a priority
odd one out
book on the wall
is what I am
this becoming a repeat of 13
while beating a music stand
to its breaking point on the cold cement floor
back then I tried to
blame my life on someone else
remembering this
made me realize the question
who do we blame but ourselves
when we realize our situation ended
and our decision backfired