Realism is an easier pill to swallow so throw it in the blender

"some stories are better left to the dead"
now that death is no longer romantic
is it safe to say......
I believe in death more than I believe in love?
yes
am I afraid you're going to walk away
yes
probably with the same fear and intensity
that you are afraid of losing me as a friend
but don't you believe in being inexplicably intertwined?
Curtains blowing as the sun streams in
Summer is in the blood
and so is running
euphoria is lost and reality has set in
your deep sable eyes
sear into mine
 flame ignited
puzzles remain unsolved even with solutions in hand
just tell it to me straight
I'm going alone tonight
head held high
It's so much easier to be alone 
when you are alone
but when you're not
it hurts like hell
right now laying out and getting a killer sunburn
would be so much easier than living in reality
at least the pain would be welcome company

Carolina Girls Best in the World!

Today is a day to remember Shag the Movie
 I want to be in South Carolina right now and this movie is a Sc girls cult classic

Luanne:Damn damn damn!!!! Why does every damn thing have to happen when you're in a damn hurry

Buzz:"Well,don't play hard to get ,you might miss something"

Carson:"You don't know me, you don't love me, you sure as all damn don't want to marry me so why don't you leave me the hell alone?"

Buzz:"I don't think I can"

Buzz:"In my opinion, marriage is just a legalized form of prostitution."
Carson:YOU are not like any boy I've ever met!
Buzz: Well you're just like every girl I've ever met--you're stuck-up, tight-assed, and conventional.
Carson: Don't you swear in front of me! Maybe I don't believe in practicing free love! Who does?
Buzz: I do

Ghost in my driver's seat

Daddy,
Today I miss you
in fact these past few months
 I have missed you more than any other time
maybe it is because I can't imagine what life would be like if you were here
I'm chasing a ghost
looking for you in every corner
I need direction
I need you
to sing to me in your off key voice
" I think about you eight years old big blue eyes and a heart of gold"
instead I'm about to graduate
and I'm falling down for trouble with a capital T
Late at night coming home
I see you in the corner of my eye
forever young
If I could go back to one day
it would be that one  night coming home from dance
and "Blurry"came on and we sang together
it came on the other day
Somebody else was in the driver's seat
but we sang it just the same
I've never felt so alone and stuck in place
I act so independent and aloof
 but I want someone to hold me and tell me it's gonna be ok
Every man I've ever met has walked out on me
so isn't it easier to push him
 away?
isn't lying better?
 it's almost been 8 years since that day
I wish I could just give you one more hug
 I don 't hug people
because I didn't hug you before you died
so why should I hug anyone else?
I need to get over myself
but some scars run too deep
for even the prettiest band-aids to cover
so I let them leave me
if only because I believe you're out there
I just have to search
till then "i'll be seeing you"

Now isn't an option even in between mixed tapes and plastic flowers

A look
across the room
daggers as eyes
His voice like nails on the chalkboard
do you remember...
looking at me like I was crazy
cause you got me lost on 75
that was a perfect day
all the looks wrapped into one
I ache to hear your voice
to see your eyes
Say it
and mean it
I can't go a day without complaining
So "please forgive me"
while the lightning goes through my veins
you make me feel safe
remember that time
i gave you that look
and your,"what"? said everything
I should've listened to it all
I guess "mixes"
do reveal the heart
too little too late
sorry kid

Sweet Nothings & Little Black Lies

I___you
fill in the blank
those key phrases
overused and common
you know you don't  mean it
why would you
some people just can't love as much as others
that spells trouble for the little girl
you're were with tonight
she was your Novocaine for the night
Still I think you'd rather
cradle the bottle beside your bed
than her
at least it doesn't ask for anything
I used to think "how's it going to be"
when he changes
but that doesn't fit the phrase
there's a kid
I'd give anything
to "dance when the stars go blue"
but I can't
he will be at home wishing
two things
to be smoking a cigarette and to be anywhere but here
I'll be up in the sky
wishing I was anywhere but there
What I wouldn't give
to be dancing by a record player
in some dive downtown
in my dress
with him
 instead I smile pretty
and try not to think of caskets
when I smell the roses on my wrist
 instead I picture myself
laying in the fields after midnight
just remembering
because sometimes it's all you can do
what am I remembering?
comfortably numb
my antidote to life
no worries my pictures won't be ruined
if only they could see behind my eyes
They'd see
all the key phrases left unsaid

"something is messed up here
something isn't right
we're supposed to be free
I'm supposed to be mine"-Sleater-Kinney

Life is not a movie, song, or Sex and the City life contains boo- boos and bad hair cuts

I wanna drive till I hit the ocean side

wind in hair

but instead I turn and I do the right thing

Song lyrics pour into my head

I'm wishing life was a movie

instead I'm sent on errands

I trip and bruise my knee

such is life

I wanna be there

but when I get there

here is where I crave

so i turn around

counted on

and ask
"Why did we ever meet"
 i like hands
because fingerprints
are always left behind unseen 

Outbursts started with a China Cabinet

"I could have lied I'm such a fool
My eyes could never never never
Keep their cool"

I keep asking for you
but you can't pick up the phone
frantically I want to scream
 come rescue me
now now now
make him leave me alone
I'm afraid the past repeats itself
with your name on its lips
I love how i get what you're saying
when you skirt around what you mean
and tell me that you skate now
stop labeling yourself
its not who you are
you are stronger than you think you are
but maybe you're really not
kid you cut your hair you cleaned up your veins
I wonder if you will let me inside now
or if you'll decide you can save yourself
All I wanted was for someone to tell me it was ok
and i realized that maybe it was time for me to do that for you
you're my unknown number memorized
who never lies
even when you could have