more caution less leaping

Wicked game the song that I blame for all recklessness committed in my life
the words compel me to do something crazy
like runaway never look back
isn't that something we all dream of
to have that time where we can't be found unless we want to be
I'm always told I'm crazy 
but a truly insane person wouldn't do the mundane things I do
tan workout go find a job get a job wait to start a job
my life used to sparkle
maybe that's all I want
or maybe I just need to be taken away from it all
but I'm an adult now and I have to act like it
or I get the one thing I really love taken away from me
it's sad when all I want is to play wicked game
smoke a cigarette and dance with you in the desert at dusk
maybe someday we can get there
but right now is not it
I don't want to whine anymore or bitch about the same old things
I just want to be under a desert sky
clouds everywhere about me
letting my heart reign free
this may not be my game or even my song
but it has my heart
just as much as you do

kiss light my heart

do you remember that time 

dancing in the rain 

kiss lighting cigarettes

when you don't even smoke

you do things just to make me smile

I didn't cry as I drove away today

but it breaks my heart every time 

I get on 24 going towards where I live 

it's not even home anymore 

home is where the heart is

and my heart beats with you 

it just feels right 

laying in your arms like we did this afternoon

you make me feel at peace 

and for a girl who's been at war for a long time 

I've finally surrendered to you 

letter #1

I really needed you tonight
just to hear your voice
to hear anything
I need a hug and you're not here
I can't stop crying because I see my baby brother suffer
why does your phone have to be dead
why.....do I need you like this why
I love you so much baby
I guess I rely on you too much
I just want someone to hold me
so i don't have to feel alone
I hate feeling alone

You're my favorite bright crayon

"So brown eyes I hold you near

Cause you’re the only song I want to hear"


The smell of honeysuckle hits me
as I drive down kingston
 headed to the park
my park knowing you won't be there
you're about 90 miles west of me
but I can't go back right now
not with everyone at home counting on me
I don't do great with change
all I want is your arms wrapped about me
instead I'm alone in my room
staring at my phone
old school death cab blaring
Soul meets body
Summer begins and together we aren't physically
but in spirit always
do you miss me as much as I miss you?
has it sunk in yet?
do you hate sleeping alone?
do you miss telling me how to drive
having someone to be with always?
Can a dog replace someone like me?
I'm your crazy little girl
who would cover the world in sparkles and pearls
if she could
I miss you
I thought by now I would have run far away
but I can't do that
my hearts with you
I don't know if you understand
it yet but you saved me from myself

Sunflowers of Time

The smell of strawberry lemonade


Reminds me of my mother

Her hair blowing in the wind of open windows

Looking perfectly in love with my father

As she dances with him with

To wicked game and doesn’t realize I’m out of bed

I forgot to put the plastic flowers on your grave daddy

I miss you tonight because I’m not sure where I’m going

And I fall in more in love each day

Ready or Not......here I am

Questions big and little
do I start a new one
let the memories of the old one fade to grey
just like the ones in the past
as I change I look inside to remember who I am
it goes beyond my clothes and hair
my skin no longer the same
and somehow
I feel like I know myself better
as if no longer relying on the external
I found the internal again
little girl lost
now little girl found
I guess you do
 really love me underneath it all

Collide

your fingers in my hair
and the conversations we have
are neverending
round and round
we go
and I close my eyes
remembering the way
it once was
all I want is someone
to hold my hand
is that to much to ask?