Mind Fuck

The day you told me how
Unattractive I was
I already knew
Did you see how my left hand was
Barren
Where do you think my rings
Went
I always take care of myself
I never once asked you for anything
Except understanding
You idiot
Telling people how crazy I am
I'm not
I just wasn't ready for
A commitment
That you threw me into
So I acted like a caged bird
Utterly psychotic
 until you set me
Free

" you just don't do it for me"

My soul is so burned out
I feel
No pleasure no pain
Numb to everything
I always remember
The drunken nights
And promises
 I see you
Bc we're so much alike

December 13, 2010

I went back last night
Looking for you
 I close my eyes
 And I'm 18
You're in my passenger seat
 Unbuckled as always
 you said
If we died
We'd go down in flames
Together
You're my kinda crazy baby
You'd say again and again  
That was our thing
Bonnie and Clyde
A fight till the end
Years later
 I miss the screaming
Fights
I'd grab my keys
Throw my phone at
Your head
And leave
But I'd always come back
 that night on the dock                          
You proposed
It was too late
You set my things on fire
With a bottle of crown
The night you found
Out I was with him
Punched through a wall
You never acted rationally
Just on impulse
You're with your bleach blonde
Now
 that I could never be
Working for your daddy
But that's not the life I wanted
To live
So now I blow down the road
 looking
For you
In other people
To feel that same
Madness all over again
But I can't find it
Because at the end
Of the day I can't feel
Anything
But fake emotion

Respect

I'm the girl he'd call at 5 am
Running to him
he had me hooked
Like a drug
I can't tell you why
And I can't tell you how
It's been 2 days since I've heard
His voice
And the last image
Of me he
Has is
head held high
Walking away
In my robe
And I'll be damned
If I'm the one to call

To my last project

We lay together
As one
Back and forth
Those eyes
Piercing into mine
As I say aloud
You can't have
my barbwire
heart
But my body is yours

You can't bullshit a bullshitter

60 in a 35
Became my life
Emotion is hard for me
But I take care of my own
And I ask for nothing
I'm great in bed
But bad at life

Urban life decay

It's 2 am
Again
Another slow burning cigarette
Another unanswered call
5 steps forward
10 steps back
I'm getting old love
So tell me what you want
Cause I don't know how
Many 2 ams
I have left
To ponder your mystery