Friday, February 27, 2009

Quotes of the moment

"Don't compromise yourself. It's all you've got."- Janis Joplin

I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met -the wedding date

Some of us are just trying to get through the day without breaking something- Dawson's Creek

Do you think it's possible for a person to be in love with someone else and not even know it?
- Empire Records

I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to. -Rumor Has It

Most of our life is a series of images, they pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens, and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.- One Tree Hill

“Maybe he's doing the same thing as me. Maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him. Then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him.” -Hollie Seals

"Most people live their life moment to moment. They think about the present and what is happening now. Others look to the future and think of all that could be, and all that someday will be. And the rest of us, well, we are too blinded by the past to see anything else clearly." -Hollie Seals

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it's one damn thing over and over. Edna St. Vincent Millay

People know the truth. They may not like it or want to know it, but they always know- Last kiss

The ones who love us least are the ones we'll die to please... ~The Replacements

Its a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high-school.- Ferris Bueller

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I Will Remember You

You won’t remember me ten years from now
I love you and loved you so much
My dear I gave you all that I had
and you gave none
This always seems to be the case
All those nights forever gone
Now my pillows stained with bleeding eyes
To hell with you I say but on the inside I died
Everyone says I told you so
I think I knew that you were bad for me
But yet you were the drug I craved everyday
The needle to my vein
You knew the inner workings of my soul
better than any man ever did or will
I knew you as well
Probably better than anyone else
Or at least thought I did
I loved you despite it all
I will remember you
But I don’t think you can say the same for me
That’s okay you were my midnight dream that never came true
So please don’t come back to me
Just forget my name and all you said
It doesn’t really matter you’re immortalized in my eyes
And written on my heart
She said all this as she closed the casket door
His eyes wide open as he went away
She knew the truth though he left long ago
In a backdoor exit in her heart
Yet she still says goodbye
As we all do even when we realize
The love is gone
She still says goodbye

Note: To, whoever reads this I wrote this a year and a half ago, not about the current situation that has fallen into my hands. I, will say this you were not my "wonderwall" and it's not that you didn't love me I was just too much. I, will remember you and for the record "kid" no matter what I have said I did indeed love you. As, insane and strange as it was I know it was real
I doubt you'll ever read this, but if you did that smirk would slowly come across your face. So, glad to be free from the chains that bound you deep into the ground. I had no realization what I had done to you so again I say goodbye.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Live fast die young

Calming me with your sadistic comments
Words spilled to one another
like a coffee cup overturned in the dark
Late into the night we go
Voices raspy and tired and still we go on
Completing one another as the night turns to morn
Haha I say for if you didn’t know me
You’d think we were lovers of the grandest kind
But not us for our bond is the deepest of all
Not romantically involved are we
More or less we’re both kindred spirits at heart
Though I know you would never admit it
Emotion to you is a sign of weakness
Unless it gets you somewhere in bed
Except with me I know you’re real
I see your light buried deep inside
The light you thought was snuffed out long ago
I see it shining in your eyes
I hear it in your voice
I know some day you’ll come back
Shining only like a pompous bastard knows how
Then I’ll just laugh and fade away into the night

Dark as Hades

He turned away
Anger flashing in my eyes
Blue as night
Dark as Hades
Come away with me he had said as
had he beckoned me with a ringed finger
Come little child come be with me
I’m really not that phantom haunting your mind at night
Come be with me in my dark paradise
Where all your deepest thoughts come true
Wouldn’t that be nice my little doll he exclaimed as if I was his little toy
Suddenly turning into a father like being
No longer lusting after my very existence instead he looked at me rather condescendingly
And he said come away with me my little princess into my realm of darkness
I need you my dear
Mama won’t be looking long
Don’t worry I love you
Ah the infamous three words that make any man shake in his boots
Yet he pulled them off with such ease
With those words I followed him and Mama didn’t look long
For she knew where I was so she lay weeping on the kitchen floor
She knew that he’d finally come she had tried to warn me those many times before but, I wouldn’t listen and he took me as his bride and mama never saw my face again.
Darkness came that night as I screamed out in pain but mama never heard for she was weeping on the kitchen floor missing me
This brings me back
To those eyes he had stared at me with
They warned me dark as Hades they said but I didn’t listen
Instead I left as they lay with mama lying on the kitchen floor weeping and calling my name.
Now I am in my own hell but I can’t leave no matter how hard I try he won’t let me go
I’m just his toy and I want to be free but how can one leave when there’s so much love to be found

Lost boy

Haunting me as I walk down the corridors of our Alma Mata
That beautiful jaded shade of green
Staring into the deep yonder of tomorrow
It always seems so promising to you
Going away and never turning back
Running from yesterday’s problems and tomorrows nightmares
Wandering blood coursing through your veins
Restless Spirits they call to you
You ignore you’re head more often then not
Falling for that beating thing beneath your chest
It guides you eyes wide shut into the dark
Blinded by naivety which you confuse with street savvy
Little boy from the South running away from home
No twang coming from your lips
As you shed today’s clothes for tomorrows future
The restless Spirits came and took you away
I now walk the corridors of our Alma Mata alone
No longer haunting me
Green eyes of yesterday

Virgin Suicides

Like a devil in the night
You came and stole me away
Right out of my safety net
With that fedora dipped down low to one side
Your sable eyes of the night staring me down
In that wicker of light
Mom &Pop asleep upstairs
As I sneak out
Screen door bangin behind me
My finger in hand with yours
Leading me astray into your world
Touching and feeling with our eyes
As music pulsed through the veins of the night
I let go with my Raybans pulled down low
That final song playing on the air
As we go careening through the night
Winding down old country roads
Freedom biting back for the first time
Pulling over we commit treason as one
Why we never came to be?
Seems to be the question on the lips of that willow
in the dark place that remembers those from long ago
Late at night when all have gone to bed but the dead
The wind stops and answers back
They followed each other into the next

Sunday, February 1, 2009

........Hi,my name is: melodramatic....

I over analyze things and obsess about little details that shouldn't be worried about. When, I go back through my life I'm amazed at how much I've lived in such a short time. I'm amazed at how fast time moves. How you think you have it all planned out and it comes crashing down.

With a simple phone call. You, can't recall what it was like before. Instead, you lean your head back close your eyes and you spin. You spin with the theme song to your life playing in the background. You, remember who you are and what you live for. You cannot exist solely to make another persons existence easier on this earth. That is not how it works.

You can't recreate moments you just have to let them happen as they happen. The, harder you try the harder it becomes to love yourself. If, you ever did or maybe you're one of those lovely self loathing people,( been there done that). I, do believe that everyone hates themselves. They hate, because they realize that they are not the object of perfection in another's eyes. I want to scream to them, that they never will be and it's no use trying. My, words are deafened by their silence. Never, will they take heed to my words until it is to late. Then, again I never listened so why should they? As, I'm writing this I realize that I'm babbling and,"Talk is cheap."

Words, cannot fix hearts, but they sure as hell can break them. We allow ourselves to be wounded so we can give someone a chance. If, we don't give them a chance we are called "cold hearted" so in the end is it better to be feeling everything or to numb it out before the pain sets in? I'm going to go with taking a chance on letting my heart getting smashed to bits. In the end I know I'll get up from it with a smile on my face(even if it's fake). Drink a cup of coffee take in the cool morning air and eventually get on with my life. I'm alot stronger than I realize. I, may be a bit broken every now and then, but I have never once crumbled and I don't plan on it. Thank you, to those who gave me strength and tested my patience. Without, you I don't think I'd be the sanest, crazy girl on the block.

"and you know I wish you would come
back down to the Delva Bar you tell em' ,"That’s just my battle scar."
I wanna kiss you, and knock em down like we used to"