Monday, May 24, 2010

Oh John Donne

Words left unspoken
makes me wonder what  you really meant
by your story
the same fate awaits.....?
Maybe I'm overthinking today
anxious about tomorrow
Thinking I'm insane
bruising easily a sign of the nearest cancer
like a 5 year old dreading school
or so she says
but I'm really not
I just realized I need words
to help me understand the way you feel
"this feels right"  
you said
this is about all one can ask from you
words lured me in before when it was all wrong
 now a with a man of few words
 I feel as if
This is the way it was supposed to be all along

"Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun." - John Donne " A Valediction Forbidding Mourning"

Sunday, May 23, 2010

To: Idgie From: Ruth

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ( a little early) May 24th I know

Here's to the many times I've cried
and you've held me and told me it would be ok
the boy obsessions the heartache
and you stuck through as a friend
even when I pushed you away
Here's to the trips to south carolina
laying in the cemetery talking to daddy
while you sat beside me tears
running behind your aviators
Here's to you
my Idgie my best friend in the world
here's to being 19 and starting a new journey
 here's to the past and the present
I'll  be here always and forever

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Love is a battlefield

would you choose me?
if you had to....ultimatums aren't my style
will it be
"ever thine
ever mine
ever ours"
like a love letter from the past
Do you realize how hard it is for me
to believe in this romantic shit
after everything I've been through
I'm in the space between
wanting to fall so hard
Reasons do I need the epic pro and con list
I feel so safe in your arms
but my Independence
comes with a price
I can't lose my head over you
so I walk in a straight line
drawing on my eyeliner
like warpaint
is always needed in a time like this
don't forget the stilettos
and I'm ready for battle
this could be "complicated"
so bring it on baby
If I fall heels over head
I'll at least be dressed to kill
and I'll kickstart your heart

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Realism is an easier pill to swallow so throw it in the blender

"some stories are better left to the dead"
now that death is no longer romantic
is it safe to say......
I believe in death more than I believe in love?
am I afraid you're going to walk away
probably with the same fear and intensity
that you are afraid of losing me as a friend
but don't you believe in being inexplicably intertwined?
Curtains blowing as the sun streams in
Summer is in the blood
and so is running
euphoria is lost and reality has set in
your deep sable eyes
sear into mine
 flame ignited
puzzles remain unsolved even with solutions in hand
just tell it to me straight
I'm going alone tonight
head held high
It's so much easier to be alone 
when you are alone
but when you're not
it hurts like hell
right now laying out and getting a killer sunburn
would be so much easier than living in reality
at least the pain would be welcome company

Friday, May 7, 2010

Carolina Girls Best in the World!

Today is a day to remember Shag the Movie
 I want to be in South Carolina right now and this movie is a Sc girls cult classic

Luanne:Damn damn damn!!!! Why does every damn thing have to happen when you're in a damn hurry

Buzz:"Well,don't play hard to get ,you might miss something"

Carson:"You don't know me, you don't love me, you sure as all damn don't want to marry me so why don't you leave me the hell alone?"

Buzz:"I don't think I can"

Buzz:"In my opinion, marriage is just a legalized form of prostitution."
Carson:YOU are not like any boy I've ever met!
Buzz: Well you're just like every girl I've ever met--you're stuck-up, tight-assed, and conventional.
Carson: Don't you swear in front of me! Maybe I don't believe in practicing free love! Who does?
Buzz: I do

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ghost in my driver's seat

Today I miss you
in fact these past few months
 I have missed you more than any other time
maybe it is because I can't imagine what life would be like if you were here
I'm chasing a ghost
looking for you in every corner
I need direction
I need you
to sing to me in your off key voice
" I think about you eight years old big blue eyes and a heart of gold"
instead I'm about to graduate
and I'm falling down for trouble with a capital T
Late at night coming home
I see you in the corner of my eye
forever young
If I could go back to one day
it would be that one  night coming home from dance
and "Blurry"came on and we sang together
it came on the other day
Somebody else was in the driver's seat
but we sang it just the same
I've never felt so alone and stuck in place
I act so independent and aloof
 but I want someone to hold me and tell me it's gonna be ok
Every man I've ever met has walked out on me
so isn't it easier to push him
isn't lying better?
 it's almost been 8 years since that day
I wish I could just give you one more hug
 I don 't hug people
because I didn't hug you before you died
so why should I hug anyone else?
I need to get over myself
but some scars run too deep
for even the prettiest band-aids to cover
so I let them leave me
if only because I believe you're out there
I just have to search
till then "i'll be seeing you"