such a pretty lie

I remember the last night we spent together
we fought
like always but it was different this time
at the end
you wanted me to hold you
I held you in my arms kissed your head
while I whispered "I'm sorry"
and for once you said "me too"
I knew this would be the last night I ever held you
 when we were one
and it was
I pushed you away
over the edge
because you really didn't make me happy
the pain did
I can't remember our last kiss
and the fact that I may never see you again
scares me
I'm not angry I'm just broken
 your voice so cold now
I don't even know you
But this is how I remember you
I remember the beach
and making love in my favorite room
 going to daddy's grave
I wasn't  sure if I should take you there
but
the tears in your eyes surprised me
I thought he finally gets it
but you didn't
I miss that boy the one I thought I knew
but lets be honest
I was just the fallback girl
and now I go on like you don't exist
but you did
and the memories remain like a song lost in time