Sunday, August 16, 2009

I wish I was a time traveler's daughter

Sometimes I can hear your voice
And remember that last embrace
But I can't imagine your face
You so old now 38
Your hair fully gray
Those laugh lines permanent you knew you were supposed to die young
And I look for clues to give me proof that isn't there
But please don't ever doubt my faith
I would give anything to see you alive just one more time
Even though it meant knowing you would die
I wished you would haunt me
But you didn't
Your memory still the same
People forget the dead never change
Unfortunately I have
I'm a mess of a girl
That pushes people away
No one can handle me and few try
No one can love all the scars or heal the hurt
I am numb
Which is why
Lately you've been pushed in the back of my mind where I wish you would stay
But like me you won't listen
Making me wish the impossible
And reliving your death again and again and again in my head
You were so real and I feel like a doll on display
Yet I still look for clues
That maybe just maybe you're back
I wish someone would tell my heart the truth
But it tells a story of it's own
Mostly saying I'm sorry
I'm not more like you
Fearless and defiant
I happen to be afraid of everything
Most of all to let go of the past
Because everytime I go
Where you lay
I become that little girl again
the past always remembers
I would know I tried in vain to forget
Tears shed as I walk away
Spanish moss blowing in the wind
the only sound is of my whisper of a goodbye
Till next time daddy
And I drive away swearing I could hear your laughter
Then again what do I know
I'm 17 and crazy


Lenore said...
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Rayne said...

I wish I could take this pain from you...but then I remind myself that you hold on to it so tightly. You would never let it go. He was everything to you.I love you.