Blue on Black

My words will be watched
my rebel without a cause
you know I've wanted to be with you
throughout this entire other ordeal
Now I have Liz Phair
on repeat in my mind
and I know you want me
you told me so
in one way or another
so why do I feel as if
I have to scream for your attention
tell me I'm the one that is all you have to do
it's that simple and that complicated
I'm yours but I don't think that will ever be enough
I never seem to be enough
for anyone
yet I remain your girl
Immobilized by the fear
of you leaving
and I realize suddenly
that I pushed you
out the door
and my love
I'm afraid you may be lost
forever and always to me
by my sabotaging self
Soon it will be time to say good bye
and as you leave I'm sure you will
take my heart with you
Right now though
I am just supposed to enjoy
the present never to look past
tomorrow borrowing trouble
seems to be my calling card
my signature
just as my black on black satin
and my translucent skin
colors contrasting
but you know not
and now possibly never will