1947

The wind on my skin
the words coursing through my veins
my heart heavy
I prefer to be alone
wanting to be a vagabond
that wish is not to be fulfilled
my life is planned out for me
even so
fear shakes me of the future
he will deteriorate
and death will consume him
my second father
may not walk me down the aisle
I blink away the rain coming from my eyes
I've known pain
and should be used to this
but I'm not
every time someone dies
or tells me that some day they're gonna go away
the knife is just as sharp
and the pain is renewed
the years I spent internalizing past events
taught me that you must cry
but not in front of others
always get it together
remember the memories you had
easier said than done
what will I do when he no longer knows me
He picked up the pieces
and now it's up to me
to go on
and I must
because yesterday is now today
the past becomes my future
and I walk down the same road
you did years ago
because the world spins
even if your heart ceases to exist

"Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else" - "One headlight" the wallflowers