"Just hear this and then i'll go you gave me more to live for more than you'll ever know" - Jeff Buckley
Looking into your eyes the other night,I finally saw behind the mask. As cliche as it sounds I saw a lost boy.Who for so many years has been covering up his pain with variations of things.I think that is one of the reasons we got along so well yet clashed.We both for so long had been running to the nearest fix.For awhile we tried to be each other's but it didn't really work.
I wanted you to save me but you couldn't.Poor boy you couldn't even save yourself.I had been looking for so long for someone to fill that void in my life.I desperately wanted you to be it.You weren't it at all. Leaving me in the end a woman scorned.
Causing me this,past summer everytime I thought of you to be filled with anger.Which I held on tight and I don't really know why. Maybe I thought that if I was still angry at you in a way I held a piece of you.Sad,I know and I was almost to the point of letting go and then you contacted me. I thought "great now I will never let you go."
After all this time hearing your voice still made my heart beat faster.Making me miss you but in a nostolgic way kind of like thinking of my childhood.Yet,I realized that I had this anger that needed not to exist.Talking to you dissapated that.The anger now replaced with sympathy that maybe someday you will find what you've been looking for.I say this with a smile"I'm glad I wasn't it" because, without,you I am free.
So now,I let you go hopefully this will be my last post about you.Even,so I won't forget you because in my own twisted way once upon a time I did love you.Time marches on I've grown up and the love has been replaced.Yet,you my dear have stayed the same.
I wish you well and part with my heart intact. Good bye has never sounded so sweet.