Tuesday, October 20, 2009

sleep robs me of my nightmares

Fog swirls around
while the roses which encase me
remind me of death
my fear comes alive

dressed in black
heels intact
I feel his hand upon my back

while I march down the aisle
my family at my side
I had hoped that church
would not have another funeral
before my day
but it came to pass

she was a little girl at heart
her laughter rings in my ears
suddenly my head clears as Stewart says," we gather here today"
I'm in a time warp
remembering that mint green dress
he hated black

the tears fall down
they get brushed away
by my secret temptation
his hand remains in mine
as we stand beside
daddy's grave
she will be place right beside
I look at my shoes
and then up again

I open my eyes
not to the clear sky
but to the darkness of my room
I alone remain in my bed
reeling from my bittersweet nightmare

I can't imagine it either way
she is not gone
he will never again hold my hand
my will is stronger than my heart

my memories mixed with fears
cause my nightmares
death and heartache remain
a double edge sword to me
for happiness fades
by default leaving me to revel
in the pain

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