LOCATION: Hell on Earth , Knoxville
TAGS: death, daddy, grief, music
PUBLISHED: June 3, 2008
Song:Simple Man-Lynyrd Skynyrd
My father died six years ago to this very date June 3rd. It was a Monday and he and I were supposed to plant tomatoes in our little garden at home. Except my daddy never came home and that was the day my childhood died. He died at work on his break playing basketball he was 30yrs old. I'll never forget that morning when my meme woke me up and led me to the living room. My entire family was sitting around my mother who was seated on the couch. I knew something was wrong when I saw her tearstained face and blood shot eyes. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until I demanded to know what was wrong. She then turned to me and said,"Daddy went to be with Jesus." With those six little words my world came crashing down upon me. I cried out,"Why?" over and over again.
That question has to this day never been answered so,I learned to stop asking. In all of this grief I became the adult and I couldn't deal with it. On the insideI wasdying and on the outside a bubbly child til I discovered my love for music. My father also had a great love for music which had been kept alive through me. I numbed out my pain with AC/DC,Jimmi,Janis,Pink Floyd,The Doors any amazing band that could just pierce their lyrics or beat into my soul was welcome. You name great bands of any era and I'm probably in love with them and not just the obvious bands please I'm deeper than that NOW. One thing has stayed the same though and that is my comfort music which is Lynyrd Skynyrd. You may call me a redneck if you would like to because,"Frankly my dear I don't give a damn." I am who I am. This song describes my father through and through he was "Simple Man" though he was not raised to be so. He rebelled against it all and always remembered his roots rather his father's roots deep in the swamps of ElizabethTown, Nc. When I hear this song it always keeps me grounded and makes me remember who I am and who I came from.
That was my father a simple man who might be appalled at the fact that his daughter is a "Fashonista", even so I remember everthing when this song is on and the pain and the grief come rushing back to me I always remember him and all he stood for his spirit. Or rather his "wandering" one my meme always called it. She says,"That it is in me too." I forget sometimes with the humdrum of daily life,but am always pulled back to reality when this "Funeral March" as I like to call it comes on.When it all comes down to it I am and always will be his, daughter and a Southern girl and I'll be damned if I forget it.