The guest writer this month is one of my very best friends. She wrote this with her heart still broken but healing, she like me learned the hard way about trust and love.
I look back on it now,
the way you said you loved me.
The way you looked at me
and I was sure I would always be by your side
takes me by surprise now.
I always thought it would be you,
but it was me.
I look back on it now
the nights spent together
and the days of just you and me.
The sacrifices I made before and after
were too much.
I was not prepared for this alternate ending.
I look back today,
and I ask if it was real.
The worst part of it all is that I know it wasn’t.
It was all fake.
It was all a mistake.
How can you love someone enough to let them go?
I’m different now.
I don’t want you to love me.
There are a few things that remind me of that time, of you.
My heartbreak. My tears. My love.
But those now still don’t make me believe.
Only the pictures of us make me think we ever existed together.
“Was it ever worth it? Was there all that much to gain? Well we knew we missed the boat and we’d already missed the plane.”-Modest Mouse
“I remember when the days were long and the nights when the living room was on the lawn. Constant quarreling, the childish fits, and our clothes in a pile on the ottoman. All the slander and double-speak were only foolish attempts to show you did not mean anything but the blatant proof was you lips touching mine in the photobooth.”- Death Cab for Cutie