LOCATION: The mansion on Rainbow Row, Charleston, SC
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: pain, pure joy
PUBLISHED: June 29, 2008
SONG: I'm Only Happy When it Rains -Garbage
Happy Fakers
Reveling in grief the way most do in joy
I can no longer remember purity of happiness
It was only an image from long ago
Does anyone wonder if really and truly
Were denying nature by seeking bliss
Some of the greats would never have been
If they had not been damned
They wrote their way through life
Of course picking up a few addictions or many along the way
But then again that is human nature to destroy itself and everything in its path
So we of course must destroy ourselves
Why preserve something that life is so fleeting
Why not wallow in it and be truly miserable in complete happiness
Maybe were the ones that are really happy
The ones with the hurt inside us
We can’t be filled with joy if we don’t know what it’s like to not be
that is the pure adoring irony of life
The people that are truly happy have hidden scars so deep they can never be filled
And the ones who’ve never been hurt
Well that’s either a facade or their world is about to crumble
That’s where I get my kicks from the Damned Hurt
Pure joy comes from pain
*Dedicated to Fifi
Showing posts with label jb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jb. Show all posts
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
No Regrets
LOCATION: Everywhere but the beach,Surfside/Myrtlebeach.Sc
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: friends, change, coffee
PUBLISHED: July 14, 2008
SONGS:Escape(the pina colada song)-Rupert Holmes
This past week was incredibly memorable. My best friend and I as you all know"Fifi" went to the beach. I wouldn't travel with another person they would drive me insane hell, I'd drive them insane. I happen to be messy,but she is too so it's all good. This song reminds me of how much I trust her. We were watchng "TheSweetest Thing" and I decided to let her cut my hair. Yes, I know nothing climatic nobody died,but for me my hair is important. I'm sorry I'm vain my hair is important to me I'm 16 forgive ok? Anyway she cut my hair it looked fabulous everything was ok.
This song is great for belting out off key at random moments. Maybe,someday we'll be like the girls in "The Sweetest Thing" I'll still be a commitment phobic and she'll kick my ass into doing something about it. Until then I guess we'll just be drinking buddies (it's coffee guys don't get worried) haha.Not to mention our run ins with the mysterious door closing ghost. I swear something was there haha and screaming on the phone to her "Lover".
How could I forget about our special version of scattergories.We would have stayed in bed all day if Grams hadn't of woken us up. Our motto"Sleep 23 hours a day and shop for one." In the end this was our recoup time so what if we only went on the beach twice.Fifi thanks for being my partner in crime these past 11 years hopefully we'll get that house on Rainbow Row someday.
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: friends, change, coffee
PUBLISHED: July 14, 2008
SONGS:Escape(the pina colada song)-Rupert Holmes
This past week was incredibly memorable. My best friend and I as you all know"Fifi" went to the beach. I wouldn't travel with another person they would drive me insane hell, I'd drive them insane. I happen to be messy,but she is too so it's all good. This song reminds me of how much I trust her. We were watchng "TheSweetest Thing" and I decided to let her cut my hair. Yes, I know nothing climatic nobody died,but for me my hair is important. I'm sorry I'm vain my hair is important to me I'm 16 forgive ok? Anyway she cut my hair it looked fabulous everything was ok.
This song is great for belting out off key at random moments. Maybe,someday we'll be like the girls in "The Sweetest Thing" I'll still be a commitment phobic and she'll kick my ass into doing something about it. Until then I guess we'll just be drinking buddies (it's coffee guys don't get worried) haha.Not to mention our run ins with the mysterious door closing ghost. I swear something was there haha and screaming on the phone to her "Lover".
How could I forget about our special version of scattergories.We would have stayed in bed all day if Grams hadn't of woken us up. Our motto"Sleep 23 hours a day and shop for one." In the end this was our recoup time so what if we only went on the beach twice.Fifi thanks for being my partner in crime these past 11 years hopefully we'll get that house on Rainbow Row someday.
***12 years and counting thank you for sticking with me through this hellish year you are a real pearl necklace my dear***
Monday, October 26, 2009
My oh My what a "Wicked Game" you played
A continuation of my JB posts......RIP
LOCATION: Walmart,Steak&Shake , K-Town
YEAR: 2007
TAGS: bittersweet beginnings, &endings
PUBLISHED: June 16, 2009
SONG: Soul Kitchen -The Doors
Whenever I hear the opening beat of this song I'm taken back to a time of first loves and yellow moons. I'm 15 and wearing my favorite blue and green striped halter top with my flowy white pants. The air is permeated with Coconut Lime Verbena and our sense of youthful hope. Fifi, and I were at dinner when we really she convinced you to come to the movies with us. You, whined that you were just too tired from football practice (two a day's anyone?).
You came anyway arriving late, but that was your usual tendency. You were always late when you needed to be early and early when you needed to be late. Your baby blue eyes were hidden by your Ray Bans you and your wavy brown hair covered like always by Vernon the hat that will never die. You, sat between Fifi and I, because you could not stand Lorraine. The, movie was just another comedy of 2007 which that summer there seemed to be too many of. When, it was over we left Lorraine, because you were hungry and wanted food.
I remember you sitting Indian style on the ground outside the pinnacle with your face in your hands. You, were pitiful but the picture was adorable. I, hate to say I don't have it now. The phone was destroyed that winter by my rage issues and a locker.
There was only one place that was open in the little plaza and you of course wanted to go there, Steak and Shake. Whenever, I think Steak and Shake I think calories and fat grams, but you and Fifi wanted to go there. I, like most times just went along for the ride. You, drove like a bat out of hell and this song was playing in the background. Fifi, was sitting up front and I in the back, windows down rarely straight hair blowing in the wind. When, we arrive at steak and shake you guys order cokes. While I, just sit there with an air of disdain around me. All, of the sudden three guys come walking in one would be my first boyfriend and one would inspire me as a writer.
After, what seems like an eternity of awkward conversation and staring at my chest. They, finally left," Oh shit," I say," What time is your mom picking us up?" (We're still just 15 here) "Soon, we have to go over to walmart she can meet us there." Fifi says with not a bit of panic in her voice. (I'm the spaz remember?) "Why can't she just pick you up here?" you ask with this sheepish look on your face. In which, she calmly replies"she won't believe we walked all the way over here Walmart is closer to the theatre." With, a deep breath and a sigh she says,"Plus, she would kill me for hanging out with you....you're 17 and a boy she thinks it's just me and Brigitte."
"Well then, what in the fuckin hell are we still doing here? Let's go." You said while you lay down a ten to pay for the two drinks. You, never did get that burger that night. When, we got to walmart you guys decided to play hide and seek from me.I knew it was so you could be "alone" in which you did nothing but hold hand and at that time they fit. Even, if they wouldn't later on.I, finally decided to look for you guys and found you both in the music section,shocking really."Hurry." I say pannicking while walking hurridly to the otherside of walmart.We needed to show her mom that we actually needed to go to walmart. So, we got some whipped cream, candy corn, and 300.Saved, by my sweet tooth and Fifi's love of epic action flicks.
Before the night ended I knew she was in love with you. Just,by the way she looked at you as you called her name on the way out.She too was looking for any excuse to stay. As,She turned around your arms are extended. She starts running towards you in a movie like fashion.You hug no squeeze her tightly almost as if you were trying to memorize the way she felt in your arms. I, tried not to look back, but I couldn't resist it was one of those moments time stood still for.
As, I stepped out into the parking lot that night I'll never forget the way the air smelled. I had a strange feeling I would never be the same and I was right. In, those next few weeks I would fall in "love" for the first time. That, night however,would be the beginning of the end to my innocence.
*Note Fifi is J.M.M.
LOCATION: Walmart,Steak&Shake , K-Town
YEAR: 2007
TAGS: bittersweet beginnings, &endings
PUBLISHED: June 16, 2009
SONG: Soul Kitchen -The Doors
Whenever I hear the opening beat of this song I'm taken back to a time of first loves and yellow moons. I'm 15 and wearing my favorite blue and green striped halter top with my flowy white pants. The air is permeated with Coconut Lime Verbena and our sense of youthful hope. Fifi, and I were at dinner when we really she convinced you to come to the movies with us. You, whined that you were just too tired from football practice (two a day's anyone?).
You came anyway arriving late, but that was your usual tendency. You were always late when you needed to be early and early when you needed to be late. Your baby blue eyes were hidden by your Ray Bans you and your wavy brown hair covered like always by Vernon the hat that will never die. You, sat between Fifi and I, because you could not stand Lorraine. The, movie was just another comedy of 2007 which that summer there seemed to be too many of. When, it was over we left Lorraine, because you were hungry and wanted food.
I remember you sitting Indian style on the ground outside the pinnacle with your face in your hands. You, were pitiful but the picture was adorable. I, hate to say I don't have it now. The phone was destroyed that winter by my rage issues and a locker.
There was only one place that was open in the little plaza and you of course wanted to go there, Steak and Shake. Whenever, I think Steak and Shake I think calories and fat grams, but you and Fifi wanted to go there. I, like most times just went along for the ride. You, drove like a bat out of hell and this song was playing in the background. Fifi, was sitting up front and I in the back, windows down rarely straight hair blowing in the wind. When, we arrive at steak and shake you guys order cokes. While I, just sit there with an air of disdain around me. All, of the sudden three guys come walking in one would be my first boyfriend and one would inspire me as a writer.
After, what seems like an eternity of awkward conversation and staring at my chest. They, finally left," Oh shit," I say," What time is your mom picking us up?" (We're still just 15 here) "Soon, we have to go over to walmart she can meet us there." Fifi says with not a bit of panic in her voice. (I'm the spaz remember?) "Why can't she just pick you up here?" you ask with this sheepish look on your face. In which, she calmly replies"she won't believe we walked all the way over here Walmart is closer to the theatre." With, a deep breath and a sigh she says,"Plus, she would kill me for hanging out with you....you're 17 and a boy she thinks it's just me and Brigitte."
"Well then, what in the fuckin hell are we still doing here? Let's go." You said while you lay down a ten to pay for the two drinks. You, never did get that burger that night. When, we got to walmart you guys decided to play hide and seek from me.I knew it was so you could be "alone" in which you did nothing but hold hand and at that time they fit. Even, if they wouldn't later on.I, finally decided to look for you guys and found you both in the music section,shocking really."Hurry." I say pannicking while walking hurridly to the otherside of walmart.We needed to show her mom that we actually needed to go to walmart. So, we got some whipped cream, candy corn, and 300.Saved, by my sweet tooth and Fifi's love of epic action flicks.
Before the night ended I knew she was in love with you. Just,by the way she looked at you as you called her name on the way out.She too was looking for any excuse to stay. As,She turned around your arms are extended. She starts running towards you in a movie like fashion.You hug no squeeze her tightly almost as if you were trying to memorize the way she felt in your arms. I, tried not to look back, but I couldn't resist it was one of those moments time stood still for.
As, I stepped out into the parking lot that night I'll never forget the way the air smelled. I had a strange feeling I would never be the same and I was right. In, those next few weeks I would fall in "love" for the first time. That, night however,would be the beginning of the end to my innocence.
*Note Fifi is J.M.M.
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Day the Music Came Alive
The day the music came alive
LOCATION: Car/ Highway , Surfside
YEAR: 2006
TAGS: The summer of a thousand days
PUBLISHED: June 10, 2008
SONG: Buffalo Springfield
I'll never forget the first time I heard this song. I was on my way to the beach with my grams for memorial day weekend. It was the beginning of the summer going into my freshmen year. She had this random cd in the car so I put it in and began to search around for a song that I liked. I remember i stopped on this song. I became mesmirized by it I am not really sure why. Maybe, because it was a 60's protest song and I could relate in my own way. Maybe it was the fact that I would soon lose my innocence and naivety and always look back on this time fondly filled with both. I don't think it was that at all I think it was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. As strange as that sounds this has and always will be the themesong in mylife. I think it's because it reminds me when everything was beautiful. Even so, that day will always be remembered as taking us 3 hours to get to our destination which was only a 1 and a half away. It took so long because Grams and I stopped at this seedy antique house. This was where I found my first 45's Bobby Darin and The Monkee's. I of course read bobby darin wrong and thought it said Bob Dylan. I remember being so excited then dissapointed when I got into the car and saw that it was not Dylan.When we finally arrived I was actually upset because the ride was over and if I have learned one thing in life it's that" It's in the journey not the destination." This of course would not become evident to me until a few years down the road. Looking back though, I realize that the ride was the best part and I guess that's how life is. Just like the quote said It's not exactly where you go it's how you get there. Problaby the hardest lesson I ever learned, but am ever so greatful for it.
Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one
man from another.
Ernest Hemingway
LOCATION: Car/ Highway , Surfside
YEAR: 2006
TAGS: The summer of a thousand days
PUBLISHED: June 10, 2008
SONG: Buffalo Springfield
I'll never forget the first time I heard this song. I was on my way to the beach with my grams for memorial day weekend. It was the beginning of the summer going into my freshmen year. She had this random cd in the car so I put it in and began to search around for a song that I liked. I remember i stopped on this song. I became mesmirized by it I am not really sure why. Maybe, because it was a 60's protest song and I could relate in my own way. Maybe it was the fact that I would soon lose my innocence and naivety and always look back on this time fondly filled with both. I don't think it was that at all I think it was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. As strange as that sounds this has and always will be the themesong in mylife. I think it's because it reminds me when everything was beautiful. Even so, that day will always be remembered as taking us 3 hours to get to our destination which was only a 1 and a half away. It took so long because Grams and I stopped at this seedy antique house. This was where I found my first 45's Bobby Darin and The Monkee's. I of course read bobby darin wrong and thought it said Bob Dylan. I remember being so excited then dissapointed when I got into the car and saw that it was not Dylan.When we finally arrived I was actually upset because the ride was over and if I have learned one thing in life it's that" It's in the journey not the destination." This of course would not become evident to me until a few years down the road. Looking back though, I realize that the ride was the best part and I guess that's how life is. Just like the quote said It's not exactly where you go it's how you get there. Problaby the hardest lesson I ever learned, but am ever so greatful for it.
Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one
man from another.
Ernest Hemingway
Midnight Hearts
Midnight Hearts
LOCATION: schoolroom , Knoxville
YEAR: 2007
TAGS: Like not love
PUBLISHED: September 22, 2008
SONG: Linger- The Cranberries
I was singing Zombie and couldn't get it out of my head one day in Algebra. Looking around I ask if anyone likes The Cranberries? He of course, replied, " I like "Linger". Everyone else too oblivious to life to even know who The Cranberries are/were. I was annoyed at first because I thought that it was a typical answer. I shrugged it off and filed it to the back of my mind under misc.information. Never, guessing that I would fall for him. Dylan the boy with curly brown hair and piercing gaze that rivels Jim Morrison's. As, I developed this crushI remembered this song and how he liked it. I wrote this poem for him a while back and yes, of course linger was playing in the background.
Take me in your arms
Holding me with your sweet embrace
Until we part for one reason or another
What is it that we must be unsatisfied with life?
Passion coursing through our veins
The want and need we hold for one another
Yet, we refrain
Those, glances from across the room
Forever burned into my memory
To be forgotten
As we lay down each other and pick up another
Both, wondering what would have been
If we had not been so afraid to fall
Pride held us back
Your words burned into me and still do
Reminiscing on the past I know I could have changed it all with a word
A single gesture toward you
Yet, I decided to remain coy
Now, I am left here to wonder what could have been
Idealizing my past mistakes with a sweet honesty
Which only a jaded heart could do
Someone who hurts but
is searching for that person
who completes them
Ignoring my own advice because I know
That nothing ever ends with happily ever after
Yet, I still end up wishing for one with you
Note: I didn't end up with this boy, but I'm not sad about it.
LOCATION: schoolroom , Knoxville
YEAR: 2007
TAGS: Like not love
PUBLISHED: September 22, 2008
SONG: Linger- The Cranberries
I was singing Zombie and couldn't get it out of my head one day in Algebra. Looking around I ask if anyone likes The Cranberries? He of course, replied, " I like "Linger". Everyone else too oblivious to life to even know who The Cranberries are/were. I was annoyed at first because I thought that it was a typical answer. I shrugged it off and filed it to the back of my mind under misc.information. Never, guessing that I would fall for him. Dylan the boy with curly brown hair and piercing gaze that rivels Jim Morrison's. As, I developed this crushI remembered this song and how he liked it. I wrote this poem for him a while back and yes, of course linger was playing in the background.
Take me in your arms
Holding me with your sweet embrace
Until we part for one reason or another
What is it that we must be unsatisfied with life?
Passion coursing through our veins
The want and need we hold for one another
Yet, we refrain
Those, glances from across the room
Forever burned into my memory
To be forgotten
As we lay down each other and pick up another
Both, wondering what would have been
If we had not been so afraid to fall
Pride held us back
Your words burned into me and still do
Reminiscing on the past I know I could have changed it all with a word
A single gesture toward you
Yet, I decided to remain coy
Now, I am left here to wonder what could have been
Idealizing my past mistakes with a sweet honesty
Which only a jaded heart could do
Someone who hurts but
is searching for that person
who completes them
Ignoring my own advice because I know
That nothing ever ends with happily ever after
Yet, I still end up wishing for one with you
Note: I didn't end up with this boy, but I'm not sad about it.
Numb No More
Numb No More
LOCATION: My life , knoxville
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: Breaking walls
PUBLISHED: June 9, 2008
Song: Comfortably Numb-Pink Floyd
I cried today for no reason at all. Why I picked now of all times hell if I know. I've forgotten what it feels like to be truly in gut wrenching fall on the floor grief. I've numbed my emotions out for one reason or another. I'd thought I'd forgotten how to cry since I rarely do so. I usually have to be provoked. I'm so good at hiding the hurt that when that wall breaks down you forget how raw and emotional it is. I've probably cried less than ten times since my fathers death. I couldn't deal with the pain I can't even deal with it now. I would love to go take a xanax and sleep all day tomorrow ,but I can't. I have to go on the world does not stop for me to finally feel something real in six years. No, matter how hard I try to make time stop to hold on just for a second it doesn't. The sun will rise in a few hours no matter what I do and no matter how hard I cry.
I think that is why I stopped crying in the first place because, I knew that crying would not bring him back so why even bother with it. I always saw it as weak I would not be one of those "girls" the kind that cries in movies and at the end of books etc. No, I wanted to be the girl with the steel heart the one that doesn't have to feel a thing except occasional imitation happiness. I wanted everything numbed out and I did it. Unfortunately, for me my wall was made up of a weak foundation. One of course that could very easily break. It did today I think all traces of my wall are gone. I hate it. I miss the security of being numb. I want to be "Comfortably Numb" again it was so much easier than feeling. So, today I am the owner of a broken wall and an aching heart. I never thought this aching would return I did everything I could to bury it. I couldn't and now it hurts and I want to curl up and a ball and die, but I know that I can't because,"The end is just the beginning." That is the reason I know I must go on. I hope someday to rise above this and be truly happy. Then, again what is true happiness? I just hope being numb all the time wasn't better
Note: I'm beginning to think it was better everything hurts then again what is life? October 6
LOCATION: My life , knoxville
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: Breaking walls
PUBLISHED: June 9, 2008
Song: Comfortably Numb-Pink Floyd
I cried today for no reason at all. Why I picked now of all times hell if I know. I've forgotten what it feels like to be truly in gut wrenching fall on the floor grief. I've numbed my emotions out for one reason or another. I'd thought I'd forgotten how to cry since I rarely do so. I usually have to be provoked. I'm so good at hiding the hurt that when that wall breaks down you forget how raw and emotional it is. I've probably cried less than ten times since my fathers death. I couldn't deal with the pain I can't even deal with it now. I would love to go take a xanax and sleep all day tomorrow ,but I can't. I have to go on the world does not stop for me to finally feel something real in six years. No, matter how hard I try to make time stop to hold on just for a second it doesn't. The sun will rise in a few hours no matter what I do and no matter how hard I cry.
I think that is why I stopped crying in the first place because, I knew that crying would not bring him back so why even bother with it. I always saw it as weak I would not be one of those "girls" the kind that cries in movies and at the end of books etc. No, I wanted to be the girl with the steel heart the one that doesn't have to feel a thing except occasional imitation happiness. I wanted everything numbed out and I did it. Unfortunately, for me my wall was made up of a weak foundation. One of course that could very easily break. It did today I think all traces of my wall are gone. I hate it. I miss the security of being numb. I want to be "Comfortably Numb" again it was so much easier than feeling. So, today I am the owner of a broken wall and an aching heart. I never thought this aching would return I did everything I could to bury it. I couldn't and now it hurts and I want to curl up and a ball and die, but I know that I can't because,"The end is just the beginning." That is the reason I know I must go on. I hope someday to rise above this and be truly happy. Then, again what is true happiness? I just hope being numb all the time wasn't better
Note: I'm beginning to think it was better everything hurts then again what is life? October 6
Remember
Remember
LOCATION: Hell on Earth , Knoxville
YEAR: 2002
TAGS: death, daddy, grief, music
PUBLISHED: June 3, 2008
Song:Simple Man-Lynyrd Skynyrd
My father died six years ago to this very date June 3rd. It was a Monday and he and I were supposed to plant tomatoes in our little garden at home. Except my daddy never came home and that was the day my childhood died. He died at work on his break playing basketball he was 30yrs old. I'll never forget that morning when my meme woke me up and led me to the living room. My entire family was sitting around my mother who was seated on the couch. I knew something was wrong when I saw her tearstained face and blood shot eyes. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until I demanded to know what was wrong. She then turned to me and said,"Daddy went to be with Jesus." With those six little words my world came crashing down upon me. I cried out,"Why?" over and over again.
That question has to this day never been answered so,I learned to stop asking. In all of this grief I became the adult and I couldn't deal with it. On the insideI wasdying and on the outside a bubbly child til I discovered my love for music. My father also had a great love for music which had been kept alive through me. I numbed out my pain with AC/DC,Jimmi,Janis,Pink Floyd,The Doors any amazing band that could just pierce their lyrics or beat into my soul was welcome. You name great bands of any era and I'm probably in love with them and not just the obvious bands please I'm deeper than that NOW. One thing has stayed the same though and that is my comfort music which is Lynyrd Skynyrd. You may call me a redneck if you would like to because,"Frankly my dear I don't give a damn." I am who I am. This song describes my father through and through he was "Simple Man" though he was not raised to be so. He rebelled against it all and always remembered his roots rather his father's roots deep in the swamps of ElizabethTown, Nc. When I hear this song it always keeps me grounded and makes me remember who I am and who I came from.
That was my father a simple man who might be appalled at the fact that his daughter is a "Fashonista", even so I remember everthing when this song is on and the pain and the grief come rushing back to me I always remember him and all he stood for his spirit. Or rather his "wandering" one my meme always called it. She says,"That it is in me too." I forget sometimes with the humdrum of daily life,but am always pulled back to reality when this "Funeral March" as I like to call it comes on.When it all comes down to it I am and always will be his, daughter and a Southern girl and I'll be damned if I forget it.
LOCATION: Hell on Earth , Knoxville
YEAR: 2002
TAGS: death, daddy, grief, music
PUBLISHED: June 3, 2008
Song:Simple Man-Lynyrd Skynyrd
My father died six years ago to this very date June 3rd. It was a Monday and he and I were supposed to plant tomatoes in our little garden at home. Except my daddy never came home and that was the day my childhood died. He died at work on his break playing basketball he was 30yrs old. I'll never forget that morning when my meme woke me up and led me to the living room. My entire family was sitting around my mother who was seated on the couch. I knew something was wrong when I saw her tearstained face and blood shot eyes. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until I demanded to know what was wrong. She then turned to me and said,"Daddy went to be with Jesus." With those six little words my world came crashing down upon me. I cried out,"Why?" over and over again.
That question has to this day never been answered so,I learned to stop asking. In all of this grief I became the adult and I couldn't deal with it. On the insideI wasdying and on the outside a bubbly child til I discovered my love for music. My father also had a great love for music which had been kept alive through me. I numbed out my pain with AC/DC,Jimmi,Janis,Pink Floyd,The Doors any amazing band that could just pierce their lyrics or beat into my soul was welcome. You name great bands of any era and I'm probably in love with them and not just the obvious bands please I'm deeper than that NOW. One thing has stayed the same though and that is my comfort music which is Lynyrd Skynyrd. You may call me a redneck if you would like to because,"Frankly my dear I don't give a damn." I am who I am. This song describes my father through and through he was "Simple Man" though he was not raised to be so. He rebelled against it all and always remembered his roots rather his father's roots deep in the swamps of ElizabethTown, Nc. When I hear this song it always keeps me grounded and makes me remember who I am and who I came from.
That was my father a simple man who might be appalled at the fact that his daughter is a "Fashonista", even so I remember everthing when this song is on and the pain and the grief come rushing back to me I always remember him and all he stood for his spirit. Or rather his "wandering" one my meme always called it. She says,"That it is in me too." I forget sometimes with the humdrum of daily life,but am always pulled back to reality when this "Funeral March" as I like to call it comes on.When it all comes down to it I am and always will be his, daughter and a Southern girl and I'll be damned if I forget it.
Life's Playlist
Life's playlist
LOCATION: On top of a bronco overlooking the sunset , Canyon,Texas
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: everything in between
PUBLISHED: May 20, 2008
Song: Every Breath You Take- The Police
This song is an amazing 80's classic but even more It's a great breakup song though slightly stalkerish when one listens to it at first but still great. This song brings to mind a question I heard awhile back that intrigued me. Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music"? Rob makes a good point. By the way this quote was taken from the movie High fidelity in case anyone ever reads this and wants to watch it. Great film very pessimistic but very real at the same time(Late 90's classic). Still the question ensues does music make us depressed or are we depressed because we listened to it. Well my theory is that everyone out there has music that is waiting to be discoverd the kind that will change their lives.
When I talk about this most people think I am crazy but I am really not. I'm just willing to admit what others won't. The power of music I believe that music has the ability to make you realize what was there all along. Music can heal you whether it was sent from God or whatever you believe. I know for a fact I would not be here if it was not for my music because I had nothing left to believe in. Music is the drug that I use to tune everything out to live in denial.At the same time it's what saved me. I truly believe God sent me music to find him it was predestined in my journey to happen. It's impacted me in a way I'll never be able tofully understand.So to answer Rob's question I believe in both I believe in music making you miserable but I also believe in music's ability to heal the soul.
My challenge to you all is to go find your music the kind that can heal your soul or tear it to shreds or do both at the same time. Don't just sit around and listen to the repugnent music of our time that is on the billboards top 100. Instead search around learn who you are become the person you always wanted to be let the music be the inspiration. Let it course through your veins as your life's blood. Be warned all the same though music is a powerful thing and can be used for just about anything good or evil. Oh, and totally random song but I thought it was a beautiful 80's ballad so whatever.
LOCATION: On top of a bronco overlooking the sunset , Canyon,Texas
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: everything in between
PUBLISHED: May 20, 2008
Song: Every Breath You Take- The Police
This song is an amazing 80's classic but even more It's a great breakup song though slightly stalkerish when one listens to it at first but still great. This song brings to mind a question I heard awhile back that intrigued me. Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music"? Rob makes a good point. By the way this quote was taken from the movie High fidelity in case anyone ever reads this and wants to watch it. Great film very pessimistic but very real at the same time(Late 90's classic). Still the question ensues does music make us depressed or are we depressed because we listened to it. Well my theory is that everyone out there has music that is waiting to be discoverd the kind that will change their lives.
When I talk about this most people think I am crazy but I am really not. I'm just willing to admit what others won't. The power of music I believe that music has the ability to make you realize what was there all along. Music can heal you whether it was sent from God or whatever you believe. I know for a fact I would not be here if it was not for my music because I had nothing left to believe in. Music is the drug that I use to tune everything out to live in denial.At the same time it's what saved me. I truly believe God sent me music to find him it was predestined in my journey to happen. It's impacted me in a way I'll never be able tofully understand.So to answer Rob's question I believe in both I believe in music making you miserable but I also believe in music's ability to heal the soul.
My challenge to you all is to go find your music the kind that can heal your soul or tear it to shreds or do both at the same time. Don't just sit around and listen to the repugnent music of our time that is on the billboards top 100. Instead search around learn who you are become the person you always wanted to be let the music be the inspiration. Let it course through your veins as your life's blood. Be warned all the same though music is a powerful thing and can be used for just about anything good or evil. Oh, and totally random song but I thought it was a beautiful 80's ballad so whatever.
Falling Back to Life
jb this amazing web site where you could put your thoughts to songs is closing its user accounts so I'm putting my favorite posts on here. This website was the starting place for my blog....it will be missed
Falling back to life
LOCATION: overlooking the lake , Florence,South Carolina
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: heartache, love, bittersweet
PUBLISHED: May 19, 2008
Song:Motorcycle Drive By-Third eye blind
She's free yet weighed down
She loves but she's never been in love
So naive yet jaded in a pretty way
The kind of girl you'd never guess likes to bleed for fun
Puts on a face everday just to hide the scars
Everything she is, is everything you never wanted to be
At the moment She's so alone yet so alive
She talks in circles never to be understood
She waits for Prince Charming
She's everything "They" hate
Who are "They"
Hell if I know
but this is my life
so come take a peek inside
my heart is bared for all
You'll never look because you don't really care
It's really okay because
"I knew that I could never have you,"
I remember that day with bittersweet tears of forgotten yesterdays
Still I love you in my own way
Well with what I know of love
which isn't much except heartache and obsession
If you ever read this dear boy know that everything you ever thought was wrong
So go back home
and please just leave me alone
Falling back to life
LOCATION: overlooking the lake , Florence,South Carolina
YEAR: 2008
TAGS: heartache, love, bittersweet
PUBLISHED: May 19, 2008
Song:Motorcycle Drive By-Third eye blind
She's free yet weighed down
She loves but she's never been in love
So naive yet jaded in a pretty way
The kind of girl you'd never guess likes to bleed for fun
Puts on a face everday just to hide the scars
Everything she is, is everything you never wanted to be
At the moment She's so alone yet so alive
She talks in circles never to be understood
She waits for Prince Charming
She's everything "They" hate
Who are "They"
Hell if I know
but this is my life
so come take a peek inside
my heart is bared for all
You'll never look because you don't really care
It's really okay because
"I knew that I could never have you,"
I remember that day with bittersweet tears of forgotten yesterdays
Still I love you in my own way
Well with what I know of love
which isn't much except heartache and obsession
If you ever read this dear boy know that everything you ever thought was wrong
So go back home
and please just leave me alone
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