Sunday, February 1, 2009

........Hi,my name is: melodramatic....

I over analyze things and obsess about little details that shouldn't be worried about. When, I go back through my life I'm amazed at how much I've lived in such a short time. I'm amazed at how fast time moves. How you think you have it all planned out and it comes crashing down.

With a simple phone call. You, can't recall what it was like before. Instead, you lean your head back close your eyes and you spin. You spin with the theme song to your life playing in the background. You, remember who you are and what you live for. You cannot exist solely to make another persons existence easier on this earth. That is not how it works.

You can't recreate moments you just have to let them happen as they happen. The, harder you try the harder it becomes to love yourself. If, you ever did or maybe you're one of those lovely self loathing people,( been there done that). I, do believe that everyone hates themselves. They hate, because they realize that they are not the object of perfection in another's eyes. I want to scream to them, that they never will be and it's no use trying. My, words are deafened by their silence. Never, will they take heed to my words until it is to late. Then, again I never listened so why should they? As, I'm writing this I realize that I'm babbling and,"Talk is cheap."

Words, cannot fix hearts, but they sure as hell can break them. We allow ourselves to be wounded so we can give someone a chance. If, we don't give them a chance we are called "cold hearted" so in the end is it better to be feeling everything or to numb it out before the pain sets in? I'm going to go with taking a chance on letting my heart getting smashed to bits. In the end I know I'll get up from it with a smile on my face(even if it's fake). Drink a cup of coffee take in the cool morning air and eventually get on with my life. I'm alot stronger than I realize. I, may be a bit broken every now and then, but I have never once crumbled and I don't plan on it. Thank you, to those who gave me strength and tested my patience. Without, you I don't think I'd be the sanest, crazy girl on the block.

"and you know I wish you would come
back down to the Delva Bar you tell em' ,"That’s just my battle scar."
I wanna kiss you, and knock em down like we used to"

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