L.H.G.&G.D.G

hard blue
on her knees sobbing weeping
like a mad woman
her eyes
they've become glazed with pain
no longer the girl she used to be
she's the woman she has become
maybe by circumstance
maybe by her own will
I still wish I could have
known her then
without the screaming,the yelling, and the disappointment
to see her eyes without the pain
would be a miracle in itself
I see her in the pictures with him
and she radiates youth and beauty
when he holds her
and you know
he was her everything
and she was his
the kind of love that you read about
but never really know
the one that goes down in the storybooks
but if it's real then it must end in tragedy
She gets that call
and rushes to see him
but, he's already gone
I'll never forget the day
she buried her heart with him
I can still hear the train
whispering in the spanish moss
while she cried behind his raybans
and kissed his casket one last time
before they lowered him down
I'll never forget watching her collapse
after the burial that day
it's something I would see
quite often in the next few years
nothing could remedy her heart
for it lay next to his
forever beating as one

Top 5 songs of the moment

1. I Need All the Friends I Can Get-Camera Obscura "You can't see that you're just the same as all the stupid people who you hate."

2. Cannonball- The Breeders "I'll be your whatever you want."

3. Why Can't I- Liz Phair (Yes completely cheesy I know.) "It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it. So tell me why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?"

4. 405- Death Cab For Cutie "You keep twisting the truth that keeps me thrown askew."

5. Rescued-Jack's Mannequin "Static to the sound of you and I undone for the last time."

The girl with the pearls stands on the corner underneath the neon lights and she cries

I miss him
and the more I sit here
I think about the last time I saw him
and I smile
When I remember that it was raining that night

I think of that phrase," It was beautiful and nothing hurt."
So many things in life that cannot be said of
but this whatever it is
for now that can be said

People will say," oh, here we go again."
I can't help, but plea with them
that it is different this time
For he is the only one to understand
They dismiss THIS
and him with a wave of their hands

I can't help but feeling out of control
with everything that happens
yet I wouldn't trade a moment
of it all in fact if anything
I'd ask for more
and maybe just maybe
he can be my sunrise

I'm always Wendy

The caffeine's been pouring into my blood baby
as the realization

sets in

you're pushing me away

so what do I do

I sleep all day and stay up all night

I want you to want me like I want you

I don't think you ever will

Don't tell me you love me

then threaten to leave

real life doesn't work like that

my hearts been shot to hell and back

you know that

but you don't know what you want

it would be so much easier

to walk out

but instead I lay in bed

and stare at my phone

and wonder how you can be out to three

you don't want to wake me

bullshit I never sleep

you know that

instead you run

from me probably the person

that cares the most about you

yet I remain here waiting on you

hoping you'll call tonight

and tell me what I want to hear

I wait in vain because

the anger that seethes within you

will never leave

I realize that after the fact

of falling

I got what

I've always wanted

a cheesy 80's film romance

except I'm in St.Elmo's Fire
and you're Billy

congratulations

Blue on Black

My words will be watched
my rebel without a cause
you know I've wanted to be with you
throughout this entire other ordeal
Now I have Liz Phair
on repeat in my mind
and I know you want me
you told me so
in one way or another
so why do I feel as if
I have to scream for your attention
tell me I'm the one that is all you have to do
it's that simple and that complicated
I'm yours but I don't think that will ever be enough
I never seem to be enough
for anyone
yet I remain your girl
Immobilized by the fear
of you leaving
and I realize suddenly
that I pushed you
out the door
and my love
I'm afraid you may be lost
forever and always to me
by my sabotaging self
Soon it will be time to say good bye
and as you leave I'm sure you will
take my heart with you
Right now though
I am just supposed to enjoy
the present never to look past
tomorrow borrowing trouble
seems to be my calling card
my signature
just as my black on black satin
and my translucent skin
colors contrasting
but you know not
and now possibly never will

Mount Hope

My heels sank into the ground
over the grass where
your body lies rotting
but you are not there
tears slowly start falling
out of the corner of my eyes
as I remember that day
these white double doors stared at me
which brings me back to
those moment in which
my skin blistered in the sun
as you forced that rod into my hand
I resented every moment
as the sun beat down on me
and I wished I was somewhere else
and now I would give anything
to be back there
no expectations no realizations
of the hardships of life
so beautiful and innocent
I remained when I took your
hand and we finally went home
Even then I was never
what you wanted me to be
now as I reflect upon my past mistakes
I realize that I will never be
that little girl again
then again I never was
the little girl I should have been
Now, I'm older and less diligent
I, rarely come to see you
because, of the disappointments
I know I would cause even in your slumber
but, know this daddy I love you still
and a piece of you remains always with me
Maybe I can be your desert rose
but I doubt I'll ever live up to my namesake
that is in my eyes though
in yours I already did

I'm a"Tuesday" kind of gal

sleepwalking through life
The feelings I have plastic replications
of what I've seen
and felt from other's lives
Numbing what you feel
and being so damn melodramatic
about everything
I'm really not that important
To sit here and wallow
and bathe myself in the regret of yesterdays
I long to love unabashedly
to feel fully alive when I wake
from the caffeine fueled night
To learn to forgive myself
first and foremost
let others love me
and not sell my soul
in the process of doing so
I've wasted so much time
in self pity and
not even actualizing the pain
as imperfect as I might be
I want to wake up in the morning
and not hate myself
for things I did yesterday
and to like the person I've become
We should laugh at the situations
we find ourselves in when
we think we've lost everything
and really it's just the beginning
to learning everything we need to know

Note: If, this seems cheesy it probably is, I'm not apologizing for anything. Have a great day.